vol.1 issue.17

:: The Obamas bathroom talk
:: Strange Lights in the sky
:: Santa's Christmas message to all of the Tiger Woods of the world.
:: A Charly Brown Christmas Tree

Like Tiger Woods Santa likes to unwind and have some fun during the off-season. There is nothing like some fun in the sun, and a little R & R before and after the Christmas season. That is why every summer Santa spends a little time at his summer home in Sweden. It gives him a chance to unwind and recharge his batteries. “This is a high pressure job,” says Santa. And you want to be at peek performance on the big night.

But unlike Tiger Woods Santa always takes Mrs. Clause with him, and most importantly Santa always looks but never touches. In fact for over a thousand years there has not been one woman that has ever come forward to accuse Santa of any Hanky Panky.

Being a world wide celebrity has its advantages and disadvantages. But hear is a tip Santa can give to all of the married men of the world. “You better be good, you better be nice, and you better not cheat on your wife. Because in it’s place of a Christmas kiss instead, you might get a 3 Iron up side your head.”

Merry Christmas
Santa

....

e-mail: matt@avalonn.com

Strange lights in the sky

Norway often has strange lights dancing around the night sky, but early in the morning of December 9th 2009, it wasn't the aurora that captivated many eyewitnesses in the north of the country. A giant spiral had appeared, and so far there's little explanation as to what might have caused the phenomenon.

"It consisted initially of a green beam of light similar in color to the aurora with a mysterious rotating spiral at one end," said Nick Banbury of Harstad, Norway. "This spiral then got bigger and bigger until it turned into a huge halo in the sky with the green beam extending down to the earth.

"According to the press, this could be seen all over northern Norway and must therefore have been very high up in the atmosphere to be seen hundreds of km apart."
The near-perfect spiral appeared at 7:50 a.m. and already the conspiracy theories are out in full-force. Is it some kind of energy weapon? Or was it the Large Hadron Collider (which, coincidentally, has just broken the world record for the most powerful particle collision of all time)?

Conspiracies to one side, there's actually a potentially mundane answer to the whole thing, although it's still pretty interesting.
From Dec. 7-10, there was an alert that the Russian Navy was going to carry out missile tests from the White Sea. However, as of December 10th 2009 the Northern Fleet denies any knowledge of the incident.

contact Matt Capps via E-mail.
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